Some jackhole mother frakker is ruining a lot of Christmases

So last night I drove a work buddy home and he asked if I had heard about the issue we had had with some X-box Kinects... I said no, what happened? apparently some asshole stole a bunch of stuff from my store, including a few Kinects... and thus no one at our store will be getting a Christmas bonus! number 1, what kind of frakking person just steals shit? your momma didn't teach you right and I hope you get raped. 2) with all the damn cameras and I'm sure extra rules you have to follow when stocking high priced merch... how was this not prevented or at the very least how do we not catch the people after the fact?
Merry Christmas people of Walmart! Imma steal yoe stuff and ruin yoe holly-day suckafish... seriously RAPED

and addition to "Pretending you Care: the Retail Worker's Guide"

So tonight I'm closing in the Deli (we start shutting down around 9 and hopefully are done by 10:30-11:00). Well around 9:45 this man comes up to the meat counter and asks a co-worker for some meat, she tells him that we are closed, and sorry but you can come in tomorrow. He cannot except this as an appropriate answer and tells her to open the slicers back up (they take 30 minutes to clean when they aren't too bad) and cut him some meat. she refuses telling him that she would have to go get the pieces from the sink that she had already cleaned and sanitized just to cut him some meat, and then re-close the slicers, and we don't want to be here all night. He asks to see her supervisor, which turns out to be me (i'm just her superior) so I walk up and ask, "is there something I can help you with?" and he says "yeah, I'd like some meat."
"I'm sorry we're closed down for the night, we close at 9 o'clock."
"I understand that but it won't take you very long to just cut me some meat."
"I'm sorry, we do have some pre-cut Sarah Lee products right over here if you want those, but we can't open the slicers back up, they are shut down and washed already."
"Look if you would just do it you'd be done by now."
"I'm sorry"
"can I see YOUR supervisor!" So I go to the phone and call the "console" (the fitting room has a radio and since our "page" button doesn't work we have to call and ask them to radio for a manager). I say, "we need any available member of management to the Deli, we have a customer waiting." and I go back to cleaning out the fryers because I don't want to get any more behind, and I don't want to deal with this guy anymore. He walks over to where I am and asks, "WELL IS ANYONE COMING? OR ARE YOU JUST THAT LAZY AROUND HERE!!" I retort with, "it's not lazy, we're busy!"
and I walk back over to him and ask, "are you sure you can't just get something out of our pre-cut section?"
"NO I want fresh stuff!" "Look the customer is right, I own my own business and if you worked for me you'd be fired!"

Oh, so you own your own business! well let me break out the secret stash of quality meats, you don't want to eat these dog scraps anyways your highness! Frankly jackass you'd be lucky to have an employee like me, but I guess your employee turnover is so high you have to hire people who are too stupid to stand up to you. Do you want to know why you can't get an employee to stay on longer that 2 months? it's because you are an unbearable prick who's head is so big it's got it's own moon!

So my manager comes over and sees this guy yelling at me, and asks "what can we do for you?"
"I'd like some meat cut." (very calm and polite I might add the SOB)
so I cut in with, "but we've already shut down the slicers and cleaned the parts!"

so of course I get told to cut this guy whatever he should desire, and without being told, I know I'm expected to apologize to this guy.

So I go get the parts, put the slicer back together (it took another 5 minutes) and in my best customer service voice I ask what it is he would like, how much, and what size cut? and without showing the slightest bit of uncomfortableness he acts like a human and asks nicely and gets just whatever it is he should want. Then I break down the slicer, and clean the pieces while my co-worker re-cleans the slicer fully, because you never know where meat particles will fly on those things. and we end up leaving a full hour late.

about half an hour after this first guy showed up another customer came up asking to get some Havarti, now this guy is a regular, he comes in and gets turkey legs and Havarti because it's all he can stomach while being on chemo, he was shaking and this guy is not looking good, I just hope it's a good sign that he can still come in and get it himself. Now for this guy, who asked like a human being, nicely, and even offered to just buy a whole log of cheese and take it home and cut it himself I would gladly have stayed another hour... but because of the first guy, a manager saw him over there and came over to take care of the situation himself, and he kept telling this guy that there was nothing we could do, you'll have to come back tomorrow. but I told this guy off, I said, "no, it's okay, I know this guy, I've got no problem getting it for him."
"but Warren (assistant manager from story 1) said we can't open the slicers"
"no it's okay" and I ended up just selling him a whole 4 pound hunk of cheese. I'm not sure what kind of cancer he's got but I hope it turns out alright for the second guy, maybe god can give his cancer to the "I'm better than you and always get what I want" guy.(who, I forgot to mention, had his son standing right there with him, way to show your son how to treat people father-of-the-year)

Shhhh....

If you walk carefully, slowly, and just listen you can hear it from a distance. slowly approach the doors, they open for you, almost magically. you feel a rush of wind, a breeze on your face, it's warm and cavernous. the inner doors lay before you, you gather yourself and take a few more steps... and you are greeted by.... the SOUNDS OF TORTURED CHILDREN!!!
Just sitting at work on a slow day, you can hear the kids crying in the toy aisle, candy aisle, frozen section, produce, near the carts, in the checkouts. Something about Walmart brings out the nasty in kids, they can't help but feel intimidated by the sheer volume of stuff they can't have. Now I've never actually seen a parent hit their crying kid, but I've had some awkward "stern-talking-to's" happen right in front of me, do I walk away, they are paying customers trying to decide what to buy?

On a separate note... if you put something in your cart and decide on a later aisle that you don't want it, don't just put it anywhere you please, you CAN take it to the checkout and tell the cashier you decided not to buy it... that makes it much easier for us to handle it than finding something on your shelves that doesn't belong and having to search the rows and rows of stuff to find where it belongs. And STOP LEAVING YOUR CARTS FULL OF STUFF ANYWHERE YOU PLEASE! every single day, without fail, there is a cart parked in between produce and deli/bakery full of stuff, that just sits there for hours on end before we finally can be sure that someone decided to be a bastard and leave all this food to spoil in the middle of the store, gee THANKS!